Romano, the Drunk
by Milk of Awesomeness
Summary: A drunk Romano is an aggravated Spain. This is the tale of Drunkmano and Irritated!Spain. Also, Prussia might get his butt kicked by Spain, but it's all worth it!


Spain didn't know what to think when Romano burst into his house and randomly yelled out, "I'm a little teacup!"

He gave Romano a weird look. "No Romano . You're drunk. What are you doing in my house anyway, Roma?" He was pretty sure he was drunk, anyway. Romano's words were very much slurred.

"Meow." Romano said, trying to purr. He licked his hand. Gross…

"You're weird."

Romano got up and crawled into Spain's lap, surprising the nation. He nuzzled Spain with his face. "SPAMANO FOREVAH," He yelled out.

Spain hugged him close. "Si! Forever!"

Romano leaned in and kissed him. "Ti amo, Spagna."

"Te amo también Romano."

"You're a cute kitty." Romano answered, nuzzling him again.

Spain pouted. "I'm not a cat, Roma!"

"You're a cute dog then," He hiccupped and looked around. "Hey, bastard… Where did the floor go?"

Spain rubbed Romano's head. "Ay, Romano. You shouldn't drink so much."

Romano got off Spain's lap and walked to the kitchen. Spain followed him with a sigh, worried that he was going to do something stupid. Sure enough, Romano grabbed a tomato from the fridge and began making out with it.

Spain was going to take it from him, but then Romano moaned. "Antonio…"

Spain moved the tomato away and kissed Romano. "Why the tomato and not me?" He smirked at the half-nation.

Romano glared. "Huh? What tomato! I was kissing you bastard! Why'd you take your head away? Give it back, dammit!" Spain laughed. Roma looked so cute when he was intoxicated.

Spain sighed. "You're so dumb when you're drunk." He smiled. Oh, Lovi…

Romano slurred out, "I'm not as think as you drunk I am."

Spain hugged him. "Ay Romano. Me quieres? Oh wait… You don't know Spanish…" He stuck out his tongue childishly.

Romano did it back. "Ti amo."

Spain lifted Romano's chin so he was facing him. "Oh, really?" Romano tried to kiss him but missed epicly. Spain laughed. "Menso! I'm right here!" He pointed at his lips.

"Want to know a secret, bastard?" The half-nation slurred.

Spain widened his eyes. "Si! Tell me!"

"I've been fluent in Spanish since I was in your care." He blushed, and then in perfect Spanish added, "I was only pretending to make you angry."

"Ay, Romano, eres bien malo. Porque nunca me dijistes..?"

"Te amo, España."

"I know you do." He leaned into kiss him again.

Romano pulled back in confusion. "Why are you shoving a tomato in my mouth? Where did your lips go?"

Spain sighed. "These are my lips, Romano." He grinned and reached for a tomato and shoved it into his mouth.

Romano moaned into the tomato. "Mmmm…. Spagna…." Spain tried not to laugh. Romano licked the tomato and moaned again. He looked over at Spain. "Spagna?"

"Si, Romano?"

"Why do you call me cute?"

Spain raised an eyebrow. "Because you are Romano. Eres chulo!"

"I'm not cute! I'm sexy as fuck!" He hiccupped.

Spain laughed quietly. "Yes, I guess you are! But we all know I'm the sexiest! Even more than France!"

"Si! He's ugly! And you're sexy as fuck too!"

"I know I am, Romano." He said, cheeks red and grin wide. "It's hot in here, Romano… You should take off your shirt!"

Romano did so, while bursting into song. "IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE! SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!" Spain quickly covered his mouth.

"Romano! Not so loud! Ay, you're crazy, Romano."

"Crazy?" He let out a cat-like hiss.

Spain sighed. "Romano. Shh…. You're so loud. And you're not a cat, idiota!" He reached for Romano's cheeks and squeezed them. "Awh, Romano! I always love squishing your cheeks!"

And then Romano, apparently not done with the singing portion of the talent show, started singing to the tune of Let it Go, "Let me go! Let me go! I'm a cat flying through the sky. Let me go! Let me go! I really want to fly! I'm tsundere! And I never say what I think! I'm a kitten! The Spanish never bothered me anyway!" Well, at least his drunk mind wasn't entirely wrong. He was tsundere.

"Callate, Romano!" He covered his mouth again. "That's it. You should rest Romano!"

"What? You don't like my beautiful singing bastard?" He pushed Spain's hand away and started singing to the tune of Fancy. "I'm so Italy! You already know! I'm a nation!"

"Ugh…" Spain picked him up. "Stop singing, Romano! You have to rest." In answer, Romano started to hum the Spanish national anthem.

Spain carried him into his bedroom and laid him down, crossing his arms. "Duermete! Sleep!"

"What is "Sleep?" Is it a new game?"

"Um.. Si! It's a game! So try to win, Romano! Or no more tomatoes!"

"No! Anything but the tomatoes!" He burst into tears. "You bastard! I like Gil more than you! At least he gave me beer! You're trying to take away my tomatoes* He attempted to get out of the bed but ended up on the floor.

"H-huh?! You like that albino more?!" Antonio faceplanted. "How can this be..? You're so mean Roma- Wait...? Gil gave you beer...?"

Romano looked up. "What are you doing on the ceiling, tomato stealing bastard! Only I can be on the ceiling!"

"Were not on the ceiling, Romano.. ." He stood back up and put Romano back into the bed. "Sleep, Romano! You're going to wake up with the biggest headache ever."

"I want more beer, dammit!"

"You can't have any more! you're already drunk enough, Romano!"

"Toni?" He gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"E-eh..? W-what is it Romano..?" He grimaced at the puppy dog face. It was so cute!

"Kiss me you idiot." Spain smiled and caught him lips, making Romano moan. "Tomato…."

Spain pulled back with a pout. "I'm not a tomato!" He laid down on the bed. "You're so tiring, Romano."

Romano smirked and pecked him cheek. "You're as delicious as one."

Of course I am. So are you, Romano…" Spain pinned down the younger nation then, leaning down to kiss him. Romano moaned again, reaching up to run his hands through his hair.

"You're so cute when you do that…" He moved lower, kissing his neck.

Romano shivered. "S—stop."

"Did that bother you..?"

Romano pushed him back down onto the bed and curled up on his chest. "You're such a cute kitty."

Spain sighed and started patting his head. "Yes. I guess I am…" Content with that, Romano snuggled into him and fell asleep, looking peaceful.

Spain kissed his forehead with a relieved sigh. "Finally. Goodnight."

* * *

 **By the way, this was done on Shamchat at 2:AM. I, the Romano, wasn't entirely coherent at the time.**


End file.
